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I donapos;t think Iapos;m mad anymore. Really. But I dunno. Considering I had (note the past tense) trust issues and this person was part of my inner circle for years, whatapos;s to stop me from having faith in anyone again? What happened was harsh. Thereapos;s no doubt about it. So apparently it couldnapos;t have been all that big a deal to her. Somewhere along the line she decided she didnapos;t care about this friendship and that she wanted to hurt me. Whether it was a conscious decision or not, it was one she made. And she succeeded. Congratulations, hunny. You hurt me a lot. And I think what hurts the most is that you expected I wouldnapos;t even be mad. As if I held you in such high esteem that you could do whatever you wanted to me regardless of how I might feel. I didnapos;t think someone could be so naive.

Itapos;s times like these that I wish I was still the bitch I was in high school. I could talk more shit in a day than she ever could. And I could hurt her 10 times more than she ever hurt me considering I know so many of her secrets and she only knows one of mine. But maybe this is one thing Iapos;ve learned from all the bad experiences. Itapos;s just not worth it. Nothing good comes out of it. The only possible outcome of me bashing the crap out of her would be more drama. Weapos;d just go from one horrible situation to the next. And frankly, Iapos;m just so tired of all this superficial bullshit. Thereapos;s more to life than plotting revenge. And I know I have so much potential to be more than this. I just want to be the kind of person that sees the good all the time. It doesnapos;t matter that trying to be the better person sucks so much. I want to escape my shallow lifestyle and shoot for the moon.

So yes, in all honesty I am over it. Iapos;m not mad. Hurt, yes. Recovering, maybe. But mad? Most definitely not. Iapos;m not going to waste my time having all these bad feelings and pretending I learned nothing from the recent tragedy we all had to face. A boy once taught me in one way or another that life is beautiful. That itapos;s worth it waking up everyday with a 100 kilowatt smile on your face if you want it to be. He taught me to treasure every single moment with the friends that make my life amazing. Thatapos;s exactly what Iapos;m going to do. No more focusing my energy on this stupid, pointless, degrading situation. Itapos;s time to pay attention to all the people who make everyday worthwhile. I know, cheesy. But put yourself in my shoes. Maybe it takes cheese every now and then to move on from situations like these.

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